Lyrics:
Copyright Chris Pratt (November 2001)
With apologies to W.S. Gilbert for the text and to Sir Arthur Sullivan (When we sing as if for A Modern Major General!)

1. Solo:
In Surrey's leafy suburbs where the mid-dle classes cong-regate,
As far as possi-ble from those whose hous-es' values would deflate
The val-ue of their prop-erty below a mil-li-on or two,
There is an ed-u-cati-on-al es-tab-lishment I know that you-
Will rec-ognise as be-ing where you once did, or con-tin-ue to,
Ins-truct the cream of mod-ern youth, one has to say al-though a few,
Re-sist your over-tures with an in-cred-ible te-nac-ity ---

Comment Off:
"Tenacity-Tenacity (Spell please and monitor the results carefully! recording them in at least triplicate and returning them by last week on the form which will arrive tomorrow!)

Solo:
De-fy-ing all at-tempts to incul-cate them with sa-gac-ity.

Chorus:
De-fy-ing all at-tempts to incul-cate them with sa-gac-ity.
De-fy-ing all at-tempts to incul-cate them with sa-gac-ity.
De-fy-ing all at-tempts to incul-cate them with ba-sic sa-gaci-ty!

Solo:
It's known as Therfield School and at its name competi-tors will quake!
Its ac-ademic rec-ord is su-perb and pupils oft-en take
Great pri-zes-from the high-er ed-uc-ati-o-nal est-abl-ishment,
Or what-so-ev-er job that after be-ing Therfield-ites they went- TO!

Comment Off:
(What - No Grammer (sic) any more!)

Chorus:
Great pri-zes-from the high-er ed-uc-ati-o-nal establishment,
Or what-so-ev-er job that after be-ing Therfield-ites they went- TO!

(Second and Third Verse Stresses are similar!)

2. Solo:
The Campus stretches languidly almost unto infinity,
From Cleeve Road at one end to Tesco's at the other where you'll see
A very high percentage of our old intelligentsia,
Who scan your shopping while ignoring that they know just who you are!

The Western flank is bounded by "high-tec"' research establishments,
Who take an active int-er-est in all the school's developments-
Occas'nally donating things that they don't need to use again--

PTO.

Comment Off:
(Use again? Use again? - just show them to Martin De Little and he'll adapt it to the 22nd century, let alone the 21st.)
So we can use last year's technology instead of stuff which ten!

Chorus:
So we can use last year's technology instead of stuff which ten!
So we can use last year's technology instead of stuff which ten!
So we can use last year's technology instead of stuff of stuff which ten! -

Solo:
Which ten long years ago cost all the money that we had to spend,
But constant ingenuity has managed to defer its end.
So-In matters educational I'm absolutely sure that you'll
Agree this is the model of a modem comprehensive school!

Chorus:
So-In matters educational I'm absolutely sure that you'll
Agree this is the model of a modem comprehensive school!

3. Solo:
The car park's full of cars which indicate, "Here is a leisured class!"
But those are just the students' and you'll have to look hard as you pass
To spot the bikes and second hand-jallopies which are often Fords
The staff (both old and young) with its munificent income affords! (Yuk!)

OFSTED inspectors praised its many hours of dedicated work,
Perhaps to compensate for many pupils who prefer to shirk!
Whatever reason you would travel very, very far to find
(Even if you ever could!)
A band of staff and teachers that would strike as even half as kind!

Chorus:
A band of staff and teachers that would strike as even half as kind!
A band of staff and teachers that would strike as even half as kind!
A band of staff and teachers that would strike as even, even half as kind!

Solo:
So colleagues all, both past and (nearly!) present, thanks for being here!
I wish you all success in all you do for many-a, many-a, year!
For-in matters educational I'm absolutely sure that you'll
Continue as the vital part of Therfield Comprehensive School!

Chorus:
For-in matters educational I'm absolutely sure that you'll
Continue as the vital part of Therfield Comprehensive School!