Parish of Mickleham - final 12 months of 'Dear Friends' by Rev Barbara Steadman-Allen
Oct 04 Sep 04 Aug/Jul 04 Jun 04 May 04 Apr 04 Mar 04 Feb 04 Jan 04/Dec 03 Nov 03
from the October 2004 magazine
Mickleham Rectory
Dear friends
I love language. I’m actually quite fussy about the words I use. I can’t understand why people roll around at slapstick humour, but I remember laughing audibly and spontaneously in the school library reading Punch (editions circa 1970). I can’t believe that I’ve only just caught on to Shakespeare’s comedies! I hate the way the leaders of our political parties use the word ‘I’ when describing policies and desires. Surely the language of democracy is more legitimately ‘we’? Even as I write, there is talk of our Prime Minister ‘forcing through’ a bill on fox hunting. Whatever you think about the issue, the language is worrying.
I’m one of those who mentally corrects ‘apostrophe’s’ and ‘spelings’. Maybe it’s because I have a Dad who was a music editor and I have inherited the critical eye. Maybe it’s because I’m a teacher that I love accuracy so...
No ambiguity about the language of affection shown to me on my last Sunday, though, expressed in your being there at the bash, or ringing/writing to let me know that if life had been different, you would have been there. As ever I am overwhelmed at your capacity for hospitality and generosity.
So here is the proverbial Oscar list, genuinely meant. I have valued all that each has given to me and to the life of the church in particular. So it seems unwise to specify, but I will take the risk. I especially want to mention my colleague, David Ireland, who has been such a fun and loyal support, and Jane who got her sleeves rolled up right from the start with the young people. Jonathan Blake, Sarah B, Ian Dennis and Mary H similarly launched the Crusader group for teenagers, and Pam and Tony Venn with Thomas Wood and Kate Morton the younger group. We pray for the ongoing growth of those activities.
St M’s choir has been a lot of fun too – like the penultimate Sunday when I appealed for curtain experts for the new house and then we sang a hymn which referred to Jesus as ‘having gone through the curtain’ – innocently chosen, but causing the choir to dissolve into the chaos of merriment. And you thought church was boring? Try sitting in the chancel...
David Eaton has actually masterminded the uniting of the benefice, and shown great sensitivity towards me throughout the process and beyond. And where would I have been without the wisdom and commitment of churchwardens, John Banfield and Ron Morton? The superb administrative gifts of Rose Spence, the creative gifts of Elizabeth Watson and her flower crew, Bernadette and her music (will be much missed) and the costly investment of life sown by the Sunday Club leaders. Not to mention those who organise the books, the coffee, Jill Wright the notices, and so the list goes on. Thank you all. I have tried to spread the tasks around more widely so that no one person is overburdened. That does seem to be the way the early church organised things.
Not least, thank you, Sue, for all
the graciousness you have shown me in the waiting time between
copy date and arrival of actual copy, and to all of you in
Mickleham and Westhumble who have become friends for real, not
just the addressees to whom these opening letters have been sent.
Love,
Barbara Steadman-Allen
from the September 2004 magazine
Mickleham Rectory
Dear friends
Beryl Maile (artist and speaker) entertained about 80
people at the midsummer lunch event organised by Rose Spence. She
shared a quotation from Damien Hirst that I appreciated and
enjoyed: "I sometimes feel that I have nothing to say and I
want to communicate this." You may think he has hit his
target! (my comment!)
What do I feel at the end of 50 parish magazine articles? Sometimes just that in the face of such experience and expertise in this community I have been privileged to serve. Sometimes I have had to remind myself that experience and expertise may not be in the realm of the spiritual and I hope I have contributed significantly to this central area of your lives.
Thank you for the cards, invitations to your homes and other expressions of good wishes that you have extended to me since the news of South Holmwood broke into the collective parish consciousness. I can’t possibly summarise all that being here has taught me, but this particular appointment has been life-developing. Of course, no appointment is ever one way - I inevitably receive more than I think I give.
I have hated transitions since boarding school days and I am probably not alone in that. But experience has taught me that there is usually terra firma somewhere on the other side. I know many can’t make Sept 5th - no worries, visit me any time in the other place...
Now for the last briefly topical comment (although I have promised words from beyond...). I would dearly have liked to be a sportsperson. It is a great focus for energy, exercise for the brain and easily shared with others. The Olympics are gripping: we are watching the best the world can offer in the full range of sporting activities. I was in Athens last year watching the construction progress. It all seems to be going OK despites doubts about its being ready in time.
Paul had to stop off in Athens on one of his trips. Having been thrown out of Thessalonica (now Thessaloniki) he waited in Athens for his co-workers, Silas and Timothy, to join him (Acts 17). Luke records Paul sharing the good news about a living God, called Jesus, with the Athenians, described as people ‘spending their time in nothing but telling or hearing something new’. That could be a description of contemporary society.
Unfortunately some only recognise ‘church’ when it conforms to the nostalgic view they think they remember from schooldays. In the same breath, some only link ‘church’ with stuffy clergy and systems they have known. (‘Like a mighty tortoise, moves the church of God...’). Can you see the dilemma the church has? St Michael’s Church is committed to telling the story of Jesus in every way it can to anyone of any age who will hear it. In our worship, we acknowledge the importance of continuity with the past, at the same time understanding that same living God speaks to the present.
Will you re-consider being part of it all?
Affectionately yours
Barbara Steadman-Allen
from the July/August 2004 magazine
Mickleham Rectory
Dear friends,
I can remember drafting the opening lines of my first
article for this magazine. In the ensuing five-and-a-half years
you have all become friends. On the next page you will read that
we have agreed a timetable for my departure from the parish. I do
hope that as many of you as can will answer the invitation and
come to the bash after the Family Service on Sunday 5th
September. IT IS NOT JUST FOR THE WORSHIPPING CONGREGATION!
Although most of us dislike the
shifting of familiar landmarks in our lives, at what point do we
start to resist the change process? That’s another one for
the dinner table if you are hosting a party this week. I rarely
lift whole chunks of literary material, but I did find this
piece:
‘Youth is not a time of life. It is a state of mind. It is
not a matter of ripe cheeks, red lips and supple knees. It is a
temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigour of the
emotions. It is a freshness of the deep things of life.
Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over love of ease. And this often exists in a man of fifty more than a youth of twenty.
Nobody grows old by living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years wrinkle their skin, to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair - these are the long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit back to dust.
Whether seventy or seventeen, there is in every being’s heart the love of wonder, the sweet amazement of the stars and star-like things and thoughts, the undaunted challenge of events, the unfailing child-like appetite for what next, and the joy and game of life.
You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fears; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.’
It’s never too late to learn and do new things. John Batt had a book launched last month describing a case that involved him recently. In this he has pursued a new direction which will very likely change law.
For Christians, ultimate security is in a God (that is his job) who invites us into the centre of the loving relationship that exists between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit (his names). If he loves us, then what is there to fear? Easier said than done? Of course. No one ever said faith was easy.
Stay young. Enjoy the summer months.
Love,
Barbara Steadman-Allen
from the June 2004 magazine
Mickleham Rectory
Dear friends,
Thanks to all the Westhumble gardeners who opened their gardens
for public viewing. A staggering number of people browsed their
way through the eight gardens and the proceeds from the afternoon
came the way of the church. I accompanied the owners on the
Saturday evening before the open day. It was wonderful to hear
them exclaim quite genuinely and with real admiration as they
caught sight of each other’s garden. (It felt like God
standing back and exclaiming with satisfaction, ‘That’s
good!’). Sunday was a beautiful day with lots of time to
stand around and enjoy all that was to be experienced.
Today’s world urges us continually to evaluate the past and set targets for the future. Ask any teacher or manager in industry. It’s as if, in an attempt to improve, we are not given permission to enjoy the achievement in the ‘now’ or to allow the methodology of the ‘now’ to settle into routine before we dig it up again to look at it. If it ‘works’ why fix it? It’s exhausting. Yet in spite of this pattern, or maybe because of it, the buzz word in health book circles is ‘enjoy the now’. I guess this assumes the now is worth enjoying. It isn’t for some. However, there should be an important health warning written into the constant onwards and upwards ethos of British society.
According to the Yorkshire Tourist Board in 2000, apart from the rural church retaining its historic role in providing a regular place of worship for the community, being a place that focuses God’s presence in the community and often bringing economic benefit to the local community, its greatest value is in providing opportunities for silence and reflection, opportunities much valued by tourists. We have countless walkers and visitors through our door.
This church is yours. It is on your doorstep. It is always open. Why not use it for moments of quiet, if they are hard to find at home – for making decisions, praying about concerns and anxieties, reflecting on questions, enjoying some space? Bring a candle and light it. Bring a flask and cushion. Just drop in.
If church is impractical, take a
minute’s ‘holiday’ every now and then during the
day. Enjoy what you have, who God is and who you are. I must
remember to read my own article.
Love,
Barbara Steadman-Allen
from the May 2004 Magazine
Mickleham Rectory
Dear Friends
The question is, do I offer you the usual entertaining yet deeply challenging article, or do I add yet more words to the serious world situation which dominates both international news and local conversation?
The Middle East story has become so complicated that quite honestly, at the risk of appearing unintelligent, I am losing the plot as to who, where and why? Am I the only one who finds the jigsaw puzzle pieces difficult to piece together? I do not see how we can embark on a war against an abstract evil called terrorism (abstract, only because it has no defined name or boundary except for those immediately affected) and expect to ‘win’ it in terms that may somehow be evaluated.
Rather predictably, the Israel story is the one I ‘understand’ the best. From the Biblical account, the claim to territory made by those living in the Israeli settlements is on the basis of a promise made to Abraham by God. What we call the Old Testament is mainly an account of the history of the Jewish people. You do not have to read very far into the Hebrew scriptures to discover that the gift of land was part of a conditional promise and that their exile into first Assyria (722 BC) and then partial exile into Babylon (586 BC) indicated a reversal of that promise. And yet it was a promise made to humanity and not just to Abraham. One of his descendants would somehow bring blessing to the world. We believe that the promise made to Abraham was fulfilled in Jesus and so rendered complete.
What we are witnessing now is the desperate desire of Jewish people to find a geographical locus of identity, namely a homeland. What it is not, is a valid claim, based on that original promise. Christians understand the New Testament to be chapter two of the Jewish history and as such it outlines how Jewish land and law are supplanted by Jesus, the Messiah, who offers the New Jerusalem and his own righteousness instead. We all know the desire for a home and garden, but alongside that we do well to remember that there is an 'on and beyond' offered to us as it is offered to all.
I love early summer. Enjoy the
countryside. We are fortunate to have homes here.
Love,
Barbara Steadman-Allen
from the April 2004 Magazine
Mickleham Rectory
Dear friends
Raiders of the Lost Ark. A great film starring
Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones. And for those of you now
desperate for a sentence that has a legitimate verb, it was
indeed lost - the Ark that is. Come on, don your snorkel and take
a dive with me into history on the trail of the Ark... (is that a
mixed metaphor?) I don’t often plunge straight into the
depths of the Bible.
The Ark was a chest 97.5cm long x 67.5 wide x 67.5cm high, overlaid inside and out with pure gold. It contained the terms of the covenant made between God and Israel through Moses, accompanying them on their journey through the wilderness. It was carried by staves threaded through two rings attached to each side and could only be carried by members of the tribe of Levi (trust me, this is going to be riveting).
Now we’re hot on the trail: newly constructed, the Ark is placed in a special tent pitched for meeting with God, the ‘Tabernacle’. It goes with Israel over the Jordan River into Canaan (Bethel) and in time moves to Shiloh, still housed inside the Tabernacle. Israel, fighting the Philistines, decides to take it into battle where it is captured by the enemy and taken by them to Ashdod, to the temple of Dagon, their own god. Mysteriously, the statue of Dagon falls over and is irreparably broken. Other disasters befall the Philistines and they move the Ark to Gath and in turn to Ekron, but the Ekronites beg them to return it to Israel! It is sent back on a cart to Beth-shemesh and on to Kiriath-jearim. There it stays until David, desiring to move it to his new capital, Jerusalem, parks it for a few months at the home of Obed-edom and then on it goes into the Tabernacle tent in Jerusalem until it is given a home in Solomon’s newly-built temple. By Jeremiah’s time, the Ark seems to have been lost.
Now, this is the riveting bit. The chest had a pure gold cover, called the ‘Mercy Seat’, or ‘place of atonement’, the place where God, in his holiness, accepted the sprinkled blood of a sacrifice as a representative death, allowing Israel to know forgiveness. Not for nothing was it called the ‘Mercy Seat’. Easter, with its annual rehearsal of the death and resurrection of Jesus, re-locates the Ark for us. It is the blood of Jesus that is sprinkled there, on the Mercy seat in heaven, allowing you and I to know forgiveness and to go free. The ancient Ark has been eternally superseded.
And, contrary to all it pretends, the world, including you and I, longs for ‘unconditional love’ and forgiveness. I am currently listening to ‘Lacrimosa’ from Mozart’s Requiem. Does this reflect God as he looks at our world with all its violence, its fear, its anger and its uncertainty? As the hatchments in our church read: ‘Resurgam’!
‘Depth of mercy, can there
be, mercy still reserved for me?
Can my God his wrath forbear me, the chief of sinners spare?
There for me the Saviour stands, shows his wounds and spreads his
hands.
God is love, I know, I feel, Jesus lives and loves me
still.’ Charles Wesley
A Happy Easter to all.
Love,
Barbara
For the true trail hunters: Exodus 40:21 Joshua 3:6, 17; 8:33
Judges 20:27 1 Samuel 1:3, 21 1 Samuel 4:3-4 1 Samuel 4:11 1
Samuel 5:1 1 Samuel 5:8 1 Samuel 6:12, 18 1 Samuel 7:1-2 2 Samuel
6:3, 12, 17 1 Kings 6:19; 8:6, 21 Jeremiah 3:16
Mickleham Rectory
Dear friends
Thomas Wood and I share an enjoyment of Terry Pratchett.
Time Out comments: "Pure fantastic delight. If
Terry Pratchett had put quill to parchment before Douglas Adams,
Ford Prefect would still be stranded in the galaxy with his thumb
in the air." Terry P lives behind a keyboard in Wiltshire
and says he doesn’t want to get a life, because it feels as
though he’s trying to lead three already. I have managed to
work my way down the ‘must read’ pile of books to Soul
Music - a Christmas gift. ‘This is a story about sex
and drugs and Music With Rocks In. Well... one out of
three...’
I remember the days when pop and rock music was performed by live instrumentalists. Then the synthesizer came in and everyone sounded virtually the same. The advent of boy bands has returned us to the days of distinctives, I think. Well, sort of. Advances in recording techniques in the music world allowed your CD and mine to be a perfect rendition, no mistakes, unlike the concert hall where the performance might have been just as moving , but less perfect.
We waste an unbelievable amount of paper sending the perfect copy of a letter, because cut and paste, delete and print commands are so easy, unlike the days when you used the pink stuff on the Gestetner, the typewriter eraser or tippex. Our expectations have risen and we expect a perfect letter.
Into the same climate has been born the most significant scientific discovery of the human genome and the emergence of techniques that can move single cells around. Is our expectation of perfection going to affect the choices we make when it comes to deciding what kind of human being we want to create? That is a big ethical issue that may take longer to debate than the scientific desire to see if we can.
Lent is not about becoming more
perfect by self denial. It’s about standing in solidarity
with Jesus and becoming part of his story. Standing in solidarity
with Jesus and allowing him to represent us in his death and
resurrection is what gives us the assurance of sins forgiven and
eternal life. Literally.
In love,
Barbara Steadman-Allen
Mickleham Rectory
Dear friends
The Abingdon Road into Oxford – do you know it? 30mph
apparently. So I learned when the Oxford police got in touch with
me through a nice friendly letter informing me that my car (not
me) had starred in a film involving a James Bond-style road-race
at the intoxicatingly, adrenalin-pumping speed of 37mph. There is
no need for you to comment. I know I have been called
‘girl-racer’ but I have been working hard on speed
limit observance. It will be just my luck if I am caught up in a
car accident whilst driving at 30mph and for people to say
‘we always told her not to drive so fast.’
I think I am more likely to be the subject of road-rage from the man (is it always a man?) behind if I drive at 30mph and not at the general speed of the traffic, as my driving instructor told me (I paid him £1.50 an hour). I want a sticker for my rear window that reads ‘Don’t expect me to drive faster – I’m the victim of a speed camera.’ It seems to me that George Orwell was 20 years premature in calling his book ‘1984’. It is 2004 and we have become the most watched country in Europe.
In times past, it was not necessarily external forces that checked behaviour. A typical Victorian wall plaque read ‘Thou, Lord, seest me’ or perhaps more familiarly, ‘Christ is the head of this house, the unseen guest at every meal, the silent listener to every conversation’. (Personally I have never been satisfied with that. I want him to join in the conversation!) Back to the point: perhaps the internal parent of the Scriptures learned thoroughly at school was more effective than the external regulations of the present-day ‘nanny state’, driven by a controlling paternalistic ethos bent on transforming us from confidently independent thinkers into fearful rule-keepers. God wants his people to grow up and move from the schoolroom with its rule-keeping mindset into adulthood. Adulthood means exploring and thinking and deciding for ourselves based on a love of God and a love of our neighbour.
The ‘watchfulness’ of God is not the watchfulness of the director in the ‘Truman Show’. It is the watchfulness of the wilderness, as the 12 tribes of Israel spend 40 years escaping from Egypt to find refuge in Canaan (imagine doing a risk-assessment of the trip). It is a parental rather than a paternalistic watchfulness. Years after that event, the Psalmist described God as ‘he who watches over Israel never tires and never sleeps.’ ‘The Lord, himself, watches over you as you come and go, both now and for ever.’ (Psalm 121)
Life’s experiences may lead
us to ask questions of God’s watchfulness (answers that may
have more of an origin in humanity’s non-watchfulness,
though not always), but frankly I would much rather be watched
and known by God than not. Whether he intervenes or not, at least
I am not alone. He tells me he cares, and he cannot lie (unlike
the camera?). I would rather be watched by God than a camera any
day! What do you think?
With love,
Barbara Steadman-Allen
from
the December 2003/Jan 2004 magazine
Mickleham Rectory
Dear friends,
Happiness is ... a newly-topped church
spire. Thank you for taking part in sustaining the heritage
of Mickleham. Still some way to go, but we are
encouraged. There is a competition to guess the number of
shingles that are up there. Only one person knows -
and that isn’t me! Have a go.
Here are a couple of modern approaches to Christmas. A little five-year-old girl received a box of crayons for Christmas and immediately drew several pictures. ‘What’s this one?’ asked Mum. ‘That’s Baby Jesus in the manger.’ To one side were three vertical lines - the wise men, perhaps, or the shepherds. Mum asked again, ‘and who are these?’ Five-year-old explained: ‘Mary and Joseph are going out for the night and that’s the babysitter arriving!’
And a poem: ‘Hark the newspaper ads do sing, Make the old cash registers ring, Clear the shelves and buy like wild, God and easy credit reconciled.’ (Herbert V. Prochnow).
‘Happy Christmas!’ ‘Happy New Year!’ What are we about when we greet each other this way? Ask any Box Hill student about the purpose of life (and some of them are true philosophers) and you will get ‘to be happy’. As a coffee-time activity, just list ten things that you think make you happy.
A recent magazine article
suggested:
1. Earn more money (but the more you have, the less difference it
makes to your level of happiness).
2. Desire less.
3. Don’t worry if you’re not a genius - there is no
link between intelligence and happiness.
4. Make more of your ‘genes’ - apparently a positive
outlook on life can be inherited, but you can learn to think
positively (sounds like hard work to me).
5. Stop comparing your looks with others.
6. Make friends and value them.
7. Get married (I can hear comments about that one).
8. Find God (interesting).
9. Do someone a good turn.
10. Grow old gracefully (not on your life!).
I like this rule for happiness by Kant: ‘Something to do, someone to love, something to hope for’. Could happiness that is not ephemeral and changeable with the wind of circumstance really belong to finding out who God is and discovering Him in Jesus Christ? Wouldn’t that become our ‘something to do, someone to love’? After all, Jesus is supposed to be ‘Emmanuel’ (God with us). And ‘something to hope for’? Why not make that link with the Christmas story for yourself?
‘Happy Christmas!’ ‘Happy New Year!’ God is not to blame for all the grotty things that happen to us and to our world. He comes with glory, albeit for now, ’veiled in flesh’. As the New Year dawns, with whatever it leaves behind or brings for us, may it bring all of us in closer touch with God.
Yours in Christian love,
Barbara Steadman-Allen
from the November 2003 magazine
Mickleham Rectory -
Dear friends
Calling all Round Britain Quiz listeners. What
do the 1st, 5th, 11th and 30th November all have in common? While
you make a cup of tea or coffee and think about it, let me go on
to say that at last I, and my two, four-legged friends, have
bashed our way up every path and pushed something through every
letterbox in the parish. On and off, it took a little under a
week. I have to admit to getting a lift between houses in Camilla
Drive... I hoped I would meet some of you I hadn’t met
before, and I did, so thank you for the odd (no, I don’t
mean it that way!) conversations we enjoyed on the doorstep.
Have you made the link between the four dates above? Here is a clue: in bashing my way up the garden paths, I was doing what I could to ensure a good response to the choral evensong for the eve of St Michael’s Day, and for the Harvest Supper, both of which were supported brilliantly and enjoyed enthusiastically with shouts of ‘when’s the next one?’
So, here is the link. Wanting things to be different, they did something about it.
The notable ‘saints’ (November 1st is All Saints’ Day) of the past were both prayerful and practical. As I write, Mother Theresa is being officially recognised for her work amongst the poor in Calcutta. Of course, the other sisters in her Order are no less saints. And whilst the Protestant churches in our land don’t ascribe to the saints the same mediating power between God and humanity as do the Roman Catholic churches, we can still be immensely challenged by the love that drives such individuals.
November 5th? Well, you may or may not support Guy Fawkes, but at least he had the courage of his convictions...
November 11th? Doesn’t have to be outlined. Many ‘ordinary’ men and women became extra-ordinary when faced with the option of freedom or domination, and for the sake of freedom, not only endured the loss of loved ones, loss of home, loss of faculties, loss of life but actively volunteered for service.
And November 30th? Advent Sunday. Seeing things had to be different for the world, God did something about it. His rescue plan, which had been moving inexorably throughout history, took a leap forward as all that Isaiah, Zechariah, Malachi and other prophets centuries before had hinted at came into focus with the promised coming of Jesus.
Did you make other, different links? It is fun to make links between apparently unlikely things. How about making a link with the God whose name is ‘Wonderful Counsellor’, ‘Mighty God’, ‘Everlasting Father’, ‘Prince of Peace’, ‘Jesus Christ’.
With love,
Barbara Steadman-Allen